乘着光影旅行

我担心当我明天一觉醒来之后，就会忘了那份沉重和感人的情节- 李屏宾，乘着光影旅行。我想要凭着记忆，赶紧将那份写进心里的台词写下来，因为我连任何一字一句的画面也不想遗漏。很少影片可以看得我感动，我想就是这一部了。

感谢MyFm迟来的惊喜！

虽然他说“无可奈何”好像一种很抽象的形容词，但是，在接下来李屏宾说着自己的故事的时候，那种“无可奈何”是如此具体和现实地呈现在荧幕前，那么强烈就在我面前。我依稀记得他说人生很多选择都是无可奈何的，如果不做自己喜欢做的东西就会不开心，同时也很无奈地明白选择了这条路，和聚少离多的妻子和家人就会不开心。对啊，人生就是那么地无奈。

我想，这部纪录片感人的地方除了叙述宾哥和母亲之间浓郁的母子情是重点外，宾哥所说的每句话每个字，那么地简短却字字写入我的心坎里。每个字分开来看的时候是那么地单调无味，因为宾哥的光影和人生态度，当每个字组在一起的时候，就温柔地掀开我的心房，小心翼翼地摆在我的心里。他说，电影的一分钟是由很多很多个一分钟拍成的，不自觉地那一分钟就给了生命。很多时候，我们都是这样，不是吗？我们还是这样，对吗？

虽然，李屏宾看起来就是一个粗壮和长满胡子的铁汉子，但是他的心很细，说的话时常充满了启发性和正面，我想差不多在片子里的他说的每一句都可以成为激励的话，真实不浮夸。除了粤语的旁白显得格格不入之外，是挺好的一部片子。虽然已有一阵子了，但肯定为电影领域的幕后工作者犹如打了一针强心针，虽然只是李屏宾，但至少光鲜亮丽的导演和演员不再只是荧幕前观众单单的关注而已。

在观看  “乘着光影旅行”的时候，很多的思绪缠绕我的脑海，很多的情绪淹过我的理智，那时多想可以拿出纸和笔写下那刻的感受，因为我知道无法在国内唯一一场的放映后重新复刻当下的感受。片子的旁白实在没什么了不起，最深刻的其实是宾哥所说的每句话让这部片子充满了感动和生命。即使英语说得不流利，在颁奖典礼的台上却说入大家的心坎里。“虽然我的妈妈都不知道我一生在做什么，今天她来了，谢谢。”

观赏这部片子的时候，所有我跟着剧组在不久之前拍摄的画面涌入我的思绪，想起那时摄影师和摄影助理的种种画面，那些我们时常看起来惊叹和美丽的画面都是在炙热的太阳底下，还有付出的年岁摄入镜头里。或许，下次当我心血来潮的时候，可以和你们分享和本地摄影师一起工作的经验，虽然不足挂齿，但是对我来说是他们就是那很多很多的一分钟，也是我的很多一分钟。虽然，我还不是很清楚本地的摄影师水准到底去到哪里，可以和谁媲美，但是很重要的关键就像宾哥说的，摄影拍得不只是一个东西或一个画面，而是一种感觉（真实感）。或许要如他所说，要像风一样随意地随着不同的环境，捕捉上天为他已经预备好的结果。

说到技术的部分的话，我觉得这部纪录片想要呈现的就好像主体一样，光影的拍摄手法，时而慢慢地流过，时而在模糊中看见犹如时间穿梭而过的他的影像。至于背景音乐方面让我最印象深刻的是以口琴吹奏的那首曲子，叙说的是离家多年的孤独感。宾哥说了一句话，让我感同身受- 很多时候很多话想说但是却无人可说，不知怎么说，想说也说不清。

在片子即将结束时所上的两行字幕“谨献给所有的电影工作者和家人”时，若再那么多一点点，或许我的泪点就要“花洒”了。或许，不是电影工作者比较难理解。对普罗大众来说只是那么“无所谓”的两句，对我来说却是那么的深沉，因为我明白。虽然，我只是在这个领域初出茅庐的小妮子，但是我可以强烈的感受到乘着光影旅行的导演由衷的感谢和珍惜。简单的两个字-谢谢，胜过千言万语。

有机会的话，就去看吧。

因为我想要和你分享那份光的感动 :)

Let the Wind Carry Me                      

            

Love Conquers All

尝试搜寻LOVE CONQUERS ALL的中文名字，显然这位陈翠梅导演并不觉得有这样的必要。不如就叫“爱勇士”吧？

早有耳闻她的这部代表作，终于有机会可以有时间细嚼这部电影。第一次接触她的电影是在戏院观看她今年的最新作品- “无夏之年”。老实说，我真的觉得不怎么样，间中还小睡了一下。到现在，还只能说还是一团雾水。不过，LOVE CONQUERS ALL真的是一部好东西。虽然，我对有些地方也有点意见。

无夏之年-明信片

写这篇影评的时候，我完全对女主角的名字完全没有什么印象，只记得她叫“姐姐”。虽然她在戏里没有特别的打扮或美丽的衣服，但是却穿着令人充满遐想，薄又有点短的衣服，加上那副时常呆滞的神情实在令人想犯案。这部电影的故事简单得来又贴切马来西亚的真实面，那种男女之间的亲密，对白，那杯饮料，甚至是在镜子前亲昵地那幕都是很生活化。即时是在简陋的房间里，却可以感受到那种写实的甜。John爱抚她的那一幕实在让我非常地意外，我从没意料在封建的马来西亚电影里，可以看到“限制级”的画面，就算是亲吻也足以让我觉得不可思议了，更别期待是演绎得浓情的亲密。我想，或许John受伤包扎着纱布的手就是为了可以抚摸她的酥胸而设计的“造型”之一吧。除此之外，Ah Peng的背部全裸也是让我哗然的一幕。没想到马来西亚的独立影片早在好几年前已经走出“肉”的传统。

为了爱情卖身

戏里面的学生妹和”姐姐“给我一种对比的感觉。一种是小女生蠢蠢欲动的纯爱；一种是有着性爱的爱，但却又说不上是成熟的爱。特比是当重复同样的背景- 两个女生坐在收银柜台呆呆地望着前方。故事里小女生交笔友的情节，勾起了我小时候也曾经交过笔友的记忆，那时候的我也是用和那小女生一样缤纷美丽的信纸，每天都期待信箱里的有没有寄给“小可爱”的署名。哈哈哈。现在想起来觉得那时候真是天真。直到有一天，妈妈阅读了我的信件然后质骂我内容的“老婆”是谁？哈哈哈哈~

有疑问的那幕是当小女生带了姐姐上阳台呐喊时，我心里觉得困惑难道小小年纪会有什么烦恼了吗？难道是为信中笔友烦恼还是人小鬼大的描写呢？

呐喊

电影的一开始，Ah Peng仰睡在长途巴士里，然后很久很久。我想，或许她想要效仿蔡明亮的长镜头(Long Take)吧。。。其中有一幕，当Ah Peng在公共电话亭和在远方的男朋友细说绵绵的同时，John亲昵的从背后拥吻她的颈，她的肩。我仿佛看见韩国导演金基德（Kim Ki Duk）的影子，特别是他的“空房间”, 那种畸形的爱情风格。

故事的一开始

偷情？

我最爱的一幕，就是那么单纯

             

                             

好的事情

严爵现场的演唱，细读的歌词，所有的回忆迅速地攀爬入我的思绪。

站在朋友的身边，我只能不动声色的感动，
十分感动。。。

好的事情，最后虽然结束，
感动十分，就有十分满足，
谢谢陪我走过那些路。。。。


            

709 人在现场

携手，我们为这块地而走

            

Holding hand, We run on this Land

In fact, I was struggling whether to attend 09 July rally night before. The feeling was so strong that I wanted to go so badly, meanwhile, I'm worry about own safety if decided to go alone. Nearly in the midnight, I received the confirmation from Wei that he is coming together with me next day!

YES, I CAN GO NOW!

I saved the contact numbers of lawyer (Dewan Pemuda PAS) in case any thing happen. I also prepare......

1. Mask  

2. Toothpaste 

3. Orange T-shirt

4. Plastic bag

5. Jalur Gemilang

6. Camera

7. Bottle of Water

Luckily there were still public bus and LRT still operating in the morning, so that we manage to reach Masjid Jamek and join them. According to the news later, LRT no longer stop by any KL area station to avoid more protester coming in. The street was empty with polices and media standby there but we don't see any "thousand" protester as updated on Twitter. So, we decided to look for them after we had our Mc Chicken and GCB meal at McDonald. That time was around 12:10pm when we left McDonald.

We're not very sure where are we walking to, until we saw the polices were chasing away few people sitting at the bus stop and we heard people shouting really loud nearby. I think we found our group! We walking toward the direction of shouting (Bank Agro near Daya Bumi) and we saw the FRU were already standby not far away in front us blocking the way to Stadium Merdeka. Hundreds of protester slowly coming in and sitting on the street against the police. Me and Wei were so naive watching behind them and out of sudden, the FRU fired tear gas toward us! That was the first time I suffered from tear gas!

The discomfort cause by tear gas was really suffering as I start to cough so badly as if chocking and tearing with my eyes can't really open because of the spice. Thanks to the Abang gave us salt and that's really help to reduce the discomfort cause by tear gas. First time being a protester, I asked Abang is the salt should put on my face? I think his hand gesture means "eat"... ... 

After the police trying to dispersed us from Daya Bumi, we gather back again at Petaling Street and more protesters this time marching to the direction of Menara Maybank. We got fired by the police with water cannons and tear gas again. According to the Abang with us, the "blue water cannon" will make you feel itchy. I think that is worst than tear gas kan......

We ran and gather again in front of Hentian PuduRaya, we were quite tension during there when we actually sandwiched between the police on either side and had tear gas fired on us. Me and Wei were trapped at the staircase of an Inn, covering our face with wet tower and shirt to reduce the contact with tear gas. Though it was raining during that time, the rain wasn't heavy enough to clear the tear gas away. We ran under the rain after awhile. 

I can never forget the most severe and tension period happened along Jalan Pudu, in front of the Tung Shin Maternity Hospital. As previous few time before after the fired of tear gas, me and Wei ran into the car park of hospital. We thought that we were safe from the chase of polis since we're already in the hospital area. Guess what, they're chasing us into the hospital after awhile, so We Run lah! 

I really never expect the police is continuing unleashed the chemical water cannon unto the hospital, it was SO close that nearly wet me. And unfortunately, I saw a protester sitting on the wheelchair unable to keep away further from the water cannon and the other protesters trying to protect by surrounding her. Of course, they're wearing YELLOW rain coat by that time. Is that the only way we can see the unite among ourselves during chaos? Without wasting time, we should leave the hospital area as soon as possible before police coming to arrest anyone of us inside there. We found the back gate on the small hill behind the hospital then we queue in order to climb over the gate which is a Chinese primary school. 

Wei was quite worry about me when my turn to step on the blue water tong and climb over the gate, ESCAPE! I still remember she was a middle age Chinese aunty when I was on top of the gate and she is just next to me. Impressive!!! 

Finally we're safe now though we're not very sure where are we going to next.

Walking along the road trying to meet them again, we pass by a Shell Petrol Station sealed with caution tape. The Petrol Station is not providing petrol filling service but we can get something for refreshing from the store. In fact, everyone is quite tired after we had the running battle with police throughout the morning. After we check the update status of the rally, we shall continue our Cleaning works. Walking along the street, we asked few Abang-Abang resting beside the road the direction to meet the rest. Most of the Abang were uncle and I believe they must be very tired that time. In fact, me and Wei too.

Around 4pm, we saw thousand and thousand of protesters were marching to the direction of KLCC from far, we can't wait to join them back! Everyone were sitting on the street, addressed by PKR leader Chai Jui Ming, PAS's Hatta Ramli and former NUJ president, Hata Wahari. Well, actually we were a bit too far from them and can't really hear what're they trying to say to us. When the helicopter from the polis is watching us flying so low on top of us......

We knew that they're coming to us SOON!

We realize the crowd starting to move, and move quickly because the police were coming to us now. For the sake of safety, Wei was holding my hand then we walk faster....... and we start to Run! It was so "kan cheong" when we realized we were stuck in the car park behind of a building, immediately we've to climb over the gate and flee again!!! This time, the next door was a private housing. Hope he don't mind that we "tumpang jalan" through his house without any notice earlier, Opps! 

Sometime, most of the time, don't think, just run.

We coming out from a small path towards the main which we have no idea where were we during that time too. We've too little time to think Run to Where instead of Where to Run, gosh! But it was quite funny when we trying to ask Abang next to us, perhaps he might know where is our location now. And the best part was he has no idea where is he now too!!! I'm quite touched when i knew he is actually coming all the way from Perak to support the Cleaning~

From this experience of rally especially because of Bersih 2.0, I'm so glad that I were there with you all to contribute my little effort for this country because I really care. I'm happy to see there were quite number of cina young generation as my age but WE NEED MORE, WE NEED YOU! The country need YOU so badly because YOU'RE so important to this land, THE CLEAN LAND. I understand is not easy to persuade everyone to join the rally as the risk and danger is still there. But if you can, please help our country. I believe most of the people have heard about Aunty Anne involved in the rally, beside of her, I've also seen the parent holding their young kid between of them marching together with us, and many middle ages aunty also were there on 709. 

Whenever police attacked the protesters, we were helping each other and unite as one. So, the question is: Are we only unite as one without kira our skin colors and religion when chaos happened among us? 

I've to say, I'm really glad that I did joined the rally. I know I will be regret if I didn't do so when this country need me but I'm not there for her. There is no excuse for us to keep waiting anymore, that's what happened when most of the time we were quiet and we were quiet for too long enough. You clearly know that voting is important but bear in mind the election is not longer fair and transparent anymore, that's why we've 709, Bersih 2.0. However, please still vote, vote for your future and living the life you desire instead of condemn, critic and complain how terrible is the gov on your Facebook page, because change doesn't happen overnight, not even mention by clicking on your mouse only.

One day, maybe...... 

I hope you will understand why I shed tears for this land. 

                

Umie和我

就在第3天拍摄的晚上，Umie哭了；我也哭了。

从实验的道具、被动的儿童观众、不定的明星嘉宾、难搞的主持人、懒散的摄影大哥，还有一直催促的导演。即使已经崩溃哭了，她还是坚持: I want to say.

舞台总监 Umie

身为她的助理，我确实不称职。一开始的好几天，我都在不肯定和犹豫里工作；很多时候，我不知道什么该做，什么不该做；甚至应该做多少。每天总会免不了被Umie责骂，那时候总害怕隔天的到来，这样的感觉心里十分难熬，很想就这样不管了，不理了。在挣扎中，我不断“灌输”自己比较好过的想法，“骂一骂就会变聪明了”。但是，这种想法很显然还是在自欺欺人，问题还是无法得到改善。

直到那一夜拍摄结束后，Umie决定召集全体部门和大家“说说话”。

各部门的事情，该交待的，该改善的都交待清楚后，人群逐渐散开，开始准备隔天的拍摄。在安静的摄影棚里，只剩下我，Umie和制作人 Aileen。我对她们说出了我在这几天所看见的问题，我是那么的不情愿下，眼泪就开始涌流而下，不停不停。

原来，我们一直都不明白彼此所想要的事情；和所做的事情。是误解吗？还是我不晓得？后来，直到拍摄结束为止，Umie都没有再严厉地训话还对我说Good Job。直到现在，我心里还是抱着怀疑究竟是眼泪让大家的情绪缓下来，还是我真的明白了？我希望，经过那一夜之后，我真的是懂了，明白了，学起来了。

我只是知道，后来的大家都变得格外温柔，很可爱。。。

除了被大家耻笑我的英文发音还有破烂的国语之外，每天就是马不停蹄的赶、赶、赶~ 
能够吃到午餐已经是一种奢侈，还是狼吞虎咽般的“奢侈”。我每天都在倒数拍摄结束的日子可以快点到来。最后的那天，我真的感到雀跃一切就要结束了。

在庆功聚会的晚上，Aileen就坐在我的斜对面。她在一片哗然声中对慢慢地对我说:
I’m proud of you。

我亲耳听见了那句话。

“Thank You”.

***

从筹备到拍摄到结束，失去了很多自己的时间，失去了和朋友见面的聚会，还有精神和体力上的消耗，那么地疲累。但是，看见全部的crew齐心合力地互相帮忙，那种团队精神依然还是让我心里那么地感动，那种让我向往的感觉。

Aileen在拍摄开始之前曾经玩笑地说尽量不会被她骂到哭；就在第3天发生了然而却不是因为她。是Umie,我说。Aileen接着雀跃地和其他同事击掌。

那是幸灾乐祸还是过度乐观的制作人？不过，她是知道怎么“阅读”人的女制作人。当她对Umie说出我的工作方式时，我心里是“哇”的一声。即使我和她相处的机会不多，也很少交谈，她却好像一眼看穿我的由里到外。惊人！

如果还有Season 3,我还是愿意成为你们的团队之一。

让我再说一次，最后一次：

                              Bijiak, Memang Bijak!

             

那些经验之谈

因为常常得熬夜，现在开始有喝罐装Nescafe的习惯；通常，早上能有包装橙汁会更棒。

在这个领域里,  “提神品”（包括烟）与其说是依赖，我会说是一种需要来提神，不然当黑夜来临时会越来越难熬。

当初，美术指导问我在这一行希望有什么样的成就，导演或是制作人，我选择了后者。其实，我还不清楚自己自己究竟要做什么，竟然只能有这两种选择：我就择其一咯~

之后好几次，我都回答一样的答案。

CLEVER（Astro科学儿童电视节目）的制作人对我说，想要成为和她一样，最重要的是Human Management。我还不是能够完全参透她的意思，我想应该是和人际关系息息相关吧？现在的我，最喜欢的是CLEVER的美术指导，因为我爱她的乐观和Supportive。当初，我们一起用晚餐的时候，她说做这一行不愉快（包括被挨骂）的时候时常都会有，最重要的是“不要放在心上”，到底这只是一份工作。 特别是昨天的室内拍摄，她让我心中默默地感动，只因为她和我的High5鼓励。

承蒙她们对我的器重，我可以在这次电视拍摄担任稍重的角色。今天，第一天，所以我紧张，我压力。她看见了我脸上挂着的忧虑，在rolling倒数的几分钟前给我击掌，那时候，除了感动，还有很多很多的动力撑着我。那种纯粹的支持是那么的美丽~ 

我都叫她 “Sifu”！ 

那夜，我们外景拍摄工作结束后，大家一块儿小酌聊聊。就在那一夜，我决定暂且继续升学的计划，先在这“染缸”里先打滚几年吧~  制作人建议，若不是向往教育工作的话，文凭根本就是奢侈品，经验更甚一切。这让我联想起昨天舞台总监对我说的一番话，“要用你的常识工作”；难听一点就是“用你的脑袋工作”。当然，我十分赞同她说的，因为很多时候我也受不了那没有（脑袋）常识的另一个实习生。她的逻辑时常让人不解，而且那“贵妇”般的坐姿时常让我很想给她巴下去。哈哈哈！

我想，比起每两个星期必须呈上去的报告；这些才是我的学习。

我发现公司极致阴盛阳衰，男儿通常都是属技术工作的岗位。那些巾帼们都有共同点：

1。短发

2。戴眼镜

3。单身

4。身兼多职的能力

5。潇洒豪迈（也是说没有什么仪态）

那些高层都是女生，而且她们都鄙视男生在这一行的工作能力和态度。不过，我觉得公司其实有一位Good Looking Guy, 虽然不多至少还有一枚，哈哈哈~  目前，我最喜欢公司的一点就是multi-racial的工作环境，下篇部落格在告诉你，因为我要就寝了，迎接着我的是连续为期一个星期的拍摄。（被迫拒绝了许多的邀约和聚会，唉。）

待续。

某天，制作团队为我们准备的宵夜。